Showing posts with label Andy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Andy. Show all posts

Saturday, January 22, 2011

The Shack 2.0

  The Shack 2.0 began after the original shack met its fateful end.  Construction began towards the end of Christmas break of the Fiends senior year of high school.  It was located in the Greenbelt in Stu's neighborhood.  They would park in the neighborhood swimming pool's parking lot and trek about 12 minutes into the forest to get to Shack 2.0.  The construction of Shack 2.0 was very similar to that of the original shack.  Most of the supplies were not acquired legally, they were building on state protected land, and were underage drinking most of the time.  Three machetes were used to clear a ton of Cedar from around the Shack 2.0.  Shack 2.0 ended up similar to the original but larger and of slightly lower quality, due to the expedited construction schedule.  A fire pit was erected and Shack 2.0 was deemed complete.  A fire was lit and the beer started flowing.  They had a few successful parties, most notably Morpheus's birthday.  That was a rager, with probably around 25-30 people showing up.  Anyways, to get to the good part.
  A few weeks later during a chill night at the Shack 2.0, Dillon, Andy, Stu, Squeaker, and a few more people were all sitting around the campfire drinking beer when 4 large men appeared from the woods.  They slowly walked up, surrounding them and Dillon greeted them with this; "Who the fuck invited y....."  His words were quickly cut off when he noticed the large firearms on all of their waists.  They were 4 large Sheriff Deputies.  At this point they were all pretty wasted so they didn't think much of yelling at cops at the time.  The cops asked for everyone's IDs, but Dillon lied and told them he didn't have his ID, thinking he would try and run later.  The cops ordered them to pour the remaining beer out on the fire and gather whatever they could carry.  Then, they told them to get in a single file line and begin the hike back up to the parking lot.  Along the way the cops noticed the Fiends looking for escape routes so the cops threatened to shoot and taze them the entire walk.  They scared the Fiends a little.
  They got up to the parking lot and the cops sat all of the fiends down cross legged in the grass.  Some of them were handcuffed, their cars were searched, and quite a few civil liberties, in the way of dick grabbing, were violated.  Stu, feeling like a badass, began yelling Big Lebowski quotes at the cops, then was handcuffed and put in the back of a cop car.  Alcohol was found in some cars and citations began being issued.  Their parents were called, (most of them were 17) as the Fiends sat waiting, handcuffed in the grass, for their parents to arrive.  Upon their arrival they were all given the Fiends tickets, some got MIP's, some got MIC's, and some got both, bullshit right?  After getting an earful from their parents, everyone went to sleep ending that fateful night in which Shack 2.0 was disgracefully murdered.

It was later revealed that Sam and Jake were responsible for leading the cops down to the Fiends.  Fuck them.

Anyways at least all they ended up with was class C misdemeanors.  They probably could have went down for multiple felonies.  What luck they have.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Management Shake-Up

Boris:  Nothing.

Andy:  Chief Technology Officer, Chief Editor

Dillon:  Chief Executive Officer

Kief:  Chief Operating Officer, Security

The Shack

  The Shack was first put into production during Thanksgiving break of The Fiend's senior year of high school.  They were sick of the endless search for people whose parents were out of town so they could have a place to party.  Although, they could occasionally party at Dillon's or Boris's house, they needed more variety.  Then, one day, Morpheus thought of the great idea: To build a shack!  It took a lot of convincing, but eventually the other fiends believed they could do it.  They decided to build a structure in the woods behind one of their houses so it could be their private place to party.  After considering many locations, they settled on a spot behind Sam's house because they could park on the streets in Sam's neighborhood and hike down for about one minute and be completely concealed in the woods.  Through unconventional ways, they acquired construction supplies and began work.  Progress could be seen over Christmas Break as a three walled structure emerged.  The floor was made of pallets covered with carpet.  There were three posts cemented into the bedrock supporting walls made of chain link fence.  The fence was covered with tarp along with the roof.  A fire pit was constructed just outside and chairs were brought down.  Andy and Todd constructed two bars and spray painted the inside.  Everyone pitched in and brought posters, pictures torn out of magazines, and street signs.  They fenced in the area around the fire pit and left one door that they could close and lock up.  To keep it hidden from possible predators (cops), they zip tied cedar branches onto the exterior fence to camouflage it,  routinely referred to the cedar camouflage as, flage.  Used in a sentence: Throw some more flage up it's weak over there.  They built a beer pong table outside the fence, lighting it with Tiki torches, decorating it and signing it.  Trust me, it was badass.  One fateful day Sam approached us and said that his dad had heard about a structure in the green belt at a neighborhood meeting.  He told Sam that it was going to be demolished the next day.  They raced over to the Shack and grabbed as much as they could.  A couple days later, they went back and all that remained was a pile of ashes from the fire pit.  It was a tragic day for all.  Later on they built a Shack 2.0, but that's another story.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Peter and a Four Wheeler

  A year and a half ago, the morning after a ranch party, Peter woke up and decided to ride a four wheeler around.  He already temped fate the previous night, riding four wheelers drunk in the dark.  But, this morning he was sober.  Now four wheelers are built for off road, but they aren't built for riding full speed into a ten foot ditch.  But, that's what Peter did anyways.  He was riding through a grassy plane full speed, not paying attention, and drove off the side of the ditch and crashed into the bottom of the other side.  Andy (not the fiend Andy, a different Andy) was out riding with him and brought Peter back to the house on the back of his four wheeler.  He had a hole in his leg.  You could see the muscle on his bone.  One, still partially drunk, idiot yelled, "Quick, get him drunk so he won't feel pain."  Peter got in Dillon's car and they drove off.  Dillon was on his way to to the emergency room when Peter called his mother and explained the situation.  She demanded that he return home immediately so Dillon dropped him off outside and his mother took over from there Andy (the fiend Andy) and a couple other fiends went to go get the four wheeler.  It's drive shaft was broken so the wheels were stuck sideways and it was impossible to push.   They got a chain, tied the four wheeler to a pick up truck and just dragged the four wheeler out of the ditch and back up to the house. Paul ended up being okay, but he had to work during the summer to pay off the four wheeler.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Our great business venture.

So, a week ago Dillon thought of a great idea: Just like there is an applyTexas.com, there should be an applyUSA.com sort of website. Basically a website that you can use to apply to any college in the US and then see your acceptances all on one page. He told the idea to Andy and Kief today. They all got really excited about the idea and started doing research, looking up colleges and what areas had the most, and looking into domain names. They decided on the domain name "AmIAccepted.com." They were so convinced this website was a necessity for the human race that they started writing a business plan and bought the domain name for it. Then Boris came in. They told him about their incredible idea. He responded, "Are you joking?" What Captain Buzzkill then proceeded to tell them was that, "The website already existed and had a monopoly. It's called the "common app" and is used by all private colleges. It has been around for 35 years. All public colleges have a state wide website."
Determined to not let their investment go to waste, they started brainstorming what to do with their new ownership in a domain name. After toying with the ideas of a website to help depressed people and just a blank page with the the words, "Yes you are." on it, they decided they did enough stupid, but hilarious, shit every day to warrant a blog.
Below is the original business plan:

AmIAccepted.com Business Plan

Features
  1. You can see the status of your application to colleges nationwide
  2. Future Features
    1. Apply to colleges nationwide from our portal
    2. See what documents or records colleges still need
    3. Check application deadlines and requirements
  3. Branch out into things such as welfare applications, military applications, government jobs, private sector jobs...
  4. Have a job board for private jobs and gov’t jobs
Launch
  1. California
  2. Florida
  3. New York
  4. Start at small schools in areas around large universities
Revenue Streams
  1. Advertisements to students
  2. A paid premium level for students with premium features
  3. Textbook store
  4. Selling analytics to colleges nationwide
    1. Info about where students are applying/demographics
  5. Eventually charge universities, military, gov’t...
  6. Charge for the job board
Marketing
  1. Facebook Advertisements to students
  2. Direct calls and meetings with school representatives
Funding Sources
  1. Micro Investing
  2. Angel Investor
  3. VC firm
Exit Strategy
  1. Buyout by a company such as monster.com or myedu.com
  2. Get bigger than a company like monster.com
Leadership
  1. Dillon 40%
    1. Chief Executive Officer
  2. Kief 25%
    1. Chief Operating Officer
  3. Andy 25%
    1. Chief Technology Officer
  4. Boris 10%
    1. Chief Diversity/Financial Officer
New AmIAccepted.com Business Plan

Write a blog about the stupid shit we say and do every day
Put google ads on our blog to make money
 

Fellow Fiends

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